Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
