Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Randomize
