Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
