operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
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I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
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On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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