Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
