the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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