I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
