I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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