it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
