you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
