oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
