He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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