How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
