the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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