Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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