Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
