"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Randomize
