Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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