Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
