i permit you to call me
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
