I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
