Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Alive.
So much puke
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
