You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Green mimosas i think yes
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
