dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
