I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
