first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize