What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
