Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
