The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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