he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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