he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
