I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
