Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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