Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
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Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
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Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
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