I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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