This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
