TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
