I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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