the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
