Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
