I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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