Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
