Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
