I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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