Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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