I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
