I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.