Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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