I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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