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• (530): View more from California

  You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."

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  27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you

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• (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?

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• 

  19 Groupies Confess What It’s Really Like To Hook Up With Famous Rockstars

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (647): View more from Ontario

  I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool

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• (661): View more from California

  He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.

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• (318): View more from Louisiana

  How did you tell her we met?

  (1-318): View more from Louisiana

  I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.

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