I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Randomize
