Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.