just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
