And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
