is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize