Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
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The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
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The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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