My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
