The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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