They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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