I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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