wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
