I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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