I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
