Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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