i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Is it because I queefed?
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
