I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
