I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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