I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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