does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
