I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
