I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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