so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
