I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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