if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
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if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
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I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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