Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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